Practicing zazen (Zen meditation) for about three years now, I started during a period when I found myself spending more time at home due to the pandemic. It has become a habit for me to practice zazen after waking up or before going to bed.
I had the opportunity to visit Kansai at the beginning of the year (2023), and I applied for a zazen session at a temple in Kyoto. It was my first experience of what could be called “authentic zazen,” and it gave me valuable insights that not only influenced my previous understanding of Zen but also my view of life.
Meditation ≠ Nothingness
I realized that in Zazen (Zen meditation), it’s not about trying to “become nothingness” but rather, by creating a physically immutable state, one can become sensitive to the changes around oneself.
In such a state, you became aware of the emotions and physical changes that came to your mind, as well as the various environmental changes. You would observe and understand their structure.
Observation
During Zazen, it’s common for things like sounds, smells, numbness in the legs, stiffness in the shoulders, awareness of time, or even unrelated worries to come to mind. In the past, I used to resist such emotions and thoughts, making efforts to “become nothingness,” but I realized that it was not necessary to resist distractions like these during zazen.
“Why does this thought come to mind?”
“Why do my legs go numb?”
“What is this sound?”
“Where do they come from, and how do they disappear?”
“And how do I react to these stimuli, and what do I think?”
Thoroughly observing the distractions around me and my reactions to them, continuing to question and understand what was happening in my “world.” This became the most fundamental practice of zazen.
Acceptance
In fact, in Zazen, my legs go numb, I hear sounds around me, and irrelevant thoughts come to mind. However, ultimately, these distractions are things that inevitably happen to me, and I perceive and react to them.
Whether I ignore them or accept them, these distractions for me do not disappear from my “world” and continue to occur unchanged.
That’s why it’s important to understand through observation that these events happen and to know how you react to them.
As understanding progresses, you gradually stop reacting to everything that happens within or around you and become able to accept everything. It’s because you come to think that they are “just the way they are” that you are less likely to be upset or reactive to them.
“Noise” becomes “sound”
“The ‘sound’ that distracts your consciousness will probably continue to be heard. However, if you observe and understand it without turning away, that ‘sound’ will no longer be ‘noise’ to you.”
That was the monk’s words. Things that were once distractions become simply “there,” perhaps.
Efforts to become nothingness are not necessary. It may take time, but striving to understand your “world” might create a state of “nothingness,” where you are undisturbed, and things are based on understanding.
Viewing the world through the lens of “understanding” might make it surprisingly less constricting for you.
You might also see what you can do at that moment. Understanding the structure of things might clarify the distinction between things you can’t do anything about and things you can actually do something about.
Focus on what you can do now
I remember what the monk said.
“I still get numb legs. But I understand why my legs go numb, how long it takes for them to go numb, how much I care about it, how long it takes to get used to it, how long it takes for the sensation to disappear, and how long it takes for me to stop caring. By thoroughly observing myself, I can leave it be. Now, there’s no need to define ‘my legs are numb’ every time.”
I didn’t use words like “enlightenment (Satori)” this time, but perhaps reaching the state of enlightenment through practice means being in a state where you are not disturbed by all events in the world, because “understanding leads to acceptance, and you can accept everything.”
Accept things you can’t change and focus on what you can do now instead. It might be through thorough understanding, that you develop the “strength” to face things with your own axis.
Having an “axis” and being undisturbed might allow you to notice even the smallest changes in your surroundings and others.
Through the practice of simply sitting in zazen, you become sensitive to the changes in yourself and your surroundings by creating a state of physical immutability.
I realized that Zazen might provide a mindset that allows me to live an easier and more enjoyable life, where I am undisturbed yet sensitive to change if practiced correctly and applied more to daily life.
Get on to your DREAM 